Will I ever be?

So this weekend I was blessed to be able to attend my best friends College graduation ceremony, GO RUTH-ANN!!! She graduated with her Bachelors in Social work :) and I am ever so proud of her. She has gone through alot in the past couple of years, and even though lots of things have gone wrong, she still stuck to it and got her degree!!! What a champ!

I watched her walk into the convention center with all the other ASU graduates and accept their diplomas, and I felt such joy for her! What an amazing accomplishment! We got to hang out and have dinner and laugh and joke with our friends and family and when I got home I thought about the events of the evening, and I wondered.............Will I ever get to watch Matthias do this?Will I get to be the proud parent in the convention center running up the isle to take pictures of her handsome son accepting his degree? Will I ever get to be the proud Momma who yells and screams for joy when they call his name for his diploma?

At first I felt sad about it, because the answer to that question is like every other one for a child with autism....I don't know yet, it all depends on how well the biomedical treatments work for him. But then I stepped back and thought about it some more.

I wake up in the mornings and I see a handsome and loving little boy looking at me. One who can call me by name, and give me hugs and kisses, one who is loving and kind, and ever so gentle with his brother... one who is alive..... I am ever so grateful, for the Lord blessing me with their gift of life. I have met so many moms out their that have lost the babys just like me much to early in this life andI am so grateful for his life.

So no matter what happens in the future, whether he does graduate from college or not, I will ALWAYS be the proud Momma of Matthias, who takes pictures of him JUST because he ate a piece of cucumber and I will continue to yell and clap with joy when he continuously gets himself dressed, one who will one day prayerfully watch her son walk across a stage to accept a diploma, either way it goes I WILL be the mom who experiences those joys in life.

Much love

BIG GOVERNMENT....

WOW.....I'm a little unnerved by something I just read from Minnesota......Here is the site you can read the whole thing (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_he_me/us_med_forced_chemo).

First I have to say, this would NOT be my choice for my child unless we were at the very end and had tried everything, just my personal choice. BUT I have to say, it is NOT right that the government can force us as parents to do what they think is right. That is what we call BIG GOVERNMENT(big brother).

It makes me wonder, just how far they will go with this.....Will they force me as a parent to vaccinate my child? My son Gabriel has had NOT ONE vaccination since birth, and I have chosen for him to wait until his brain has developed more to give him shots because his brother has autism. So would they deem me as an unfit parent and call child protective services on me for it and then force me to vaccinate my child?.....

I realize cancer and vaccinations are very different. But my point is, if you give the government and inch they will QUICKLY take a mile!!!

I don't normally post about stuff in the news, but this sparked my interest as a parent.

Tell me what do you all think about it?

Good News

My sons physical Therapist is NOT going to suggest he get discharge from PT :) this is great news!!! This way I can look for one who can handle him and work on the MANY goals he still has to accomplish!!!

Now on to updates, as I mentioned Matthias has been stimming alot lately, and once again is constipated :( Please pray that this smooth move tea with Senna in it helps...

Much Love,

Matthias' therapist

I have to say I am SO impressed with Matthias' new OT (occupational therapist). She is FABULOUS with him!!!! And not intimidated by his size, as you can see my Handsome is a big boy 4ft 1 already, he wears a size 4 1/2 shoes in boys!!! So needless to say I have had my share of I can not handle him from therapists before. I love it when I can see an actual connection happen with Matthias and his therapist it makes this Mommas heart happy! We are lucky enough to receive two 1 hour sessions a week with his OT and I am hoping we will see LOTS of improvement for him. He struggles ALOT with many different areas of OT.

My sister Kim called me the other day and let me know that she and her husband Jim will be blessing us with the finances to be able to send off a lab test for Matthias. First I have to say THANK YOU KIMMY I love you guys! I hope you don't mind me thanking you in public :).

Now for all my friends out there that know about this type of lab work its the Organic Acid test, where they test for what kind of yeast is in his system. I am looking forward to getting this done as I can't wait to see how putting him on a anti fungal will help him.....

I have a question to any of my friends out there, Matthias has been stimming ALOT.... even more than he usually does. I know they say that can be a side affect from the Methyl B12 but we just started seeing it last week. Would it take this long to start seeing the side affects? He's been on the shots for over a month now... Or could it be the TMG he is on? I read in my WONDERFUL TACA manual that some children to not do well on TMG, but he did do well on it before?

Any suggestions?

Much Love,

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Much Love,

Little Kayleigh Freeman

Although I have never meet this beautiful little girl or her wonderful parents, my heart aches for them this morning. I have followed their blog for the past two months and have been praying for them daily.....But last night Sweet little Kayleigh went to be with the Lord .... please pray for her parents as they go through this terrible time with out her here. I have there button on my page but here is the link to their beautiful page :http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

Bucket head... Mothers Day

LONG LONG day today :)Had a great Mothers Day with my boys yesterday. It has become a tradition of mine to take Matthias swimming in his little pool on Mothers Day. So in good ole, Mommy fashion, Matthias, Gabriel, Grandma and I spent alot of time in the pool yesterday :) and here are the adorable pics to prove it! Aren't they just so adorable!!!!! Enjoy!

This picture CRACKS ME UP! Here is my Handsome as a bucket head :)

I will post more about the whole physical therapy fiasco tomorrow!

Much Love,

How God views Mommas with kiddos that have autism....

For all my mommas with kiddos that have autism, check out this blog spot! She has a WONDERFUL blog today!!!! I never thought of it this way, has given me a different perspective on things from the biblical sense.

http://adventuresinautism.blogspot.com/

The Special Mother....

One of my other blog friends posted this article this morning. I have read it many times and thought I would share it also.

The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.

Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over EarthSelecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.""Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.""Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child."The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy.""Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel."I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it.""I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.

You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of it's own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy.""But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.

Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word.She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life Because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

JUST A LITTLE NOTE TO SAY .........

HAVE A BLESSED AND HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !!!