First I have to say Happy Independence Day and Thank you to all our men and women of the service!
I have a prayers request for a little girl named Kate here in Phoenix Arizona. They have just discovered she has a brain tumor a few days ago. I've uploaded a video for you to watch about her story. Please pray for this family! Miracles DO HAPPEN!
So have I ever mentioned how much I don't like Handsomes poop rollercoaster???
First he was constipated on and off for 6 months, now we are back to the loose, mushy grainy, really stinky(although Handsome seriously said to me tonight, it smells like Roses Mommy! I nearly wet myself laughing so hard) poop... Don't you just love the ride of autism!
I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be analyzing my childs stools all the time!!!!! I can't wait till we can get the lab work done to figure out which yeast he has in him so we can deal with this already! UHHGGG he has to be miserable!!!
Well I need to get Handsome to bed :) and go and relax for awhile. Tomorrow is Independence Day and we are going to celebrate our freedom!!
Much Love,
Handsome got to have a night out with Momma :) I'm so glad we got to spend some real FUN time together instead of it always being Mommy taking him to therapy or doctors appointments.
Doesn't he look so cute here :) He was so excited to get to go to see Ice Age 3 at the Drive Ins and he LOVED it!
I took him to get something to eat also, and that was a little more difficult, but all in all he did a GREAT job!
When we are out in public alot he tends to get a little anxious and echo's the whole time we are there. He kept saying over and over again, "Mommy we go see Manny and Diego and Elli?" and I would say "Yes, bud we're going, but first we have to do what?" Matthias "Eat Dinner" Mommy, " Then we get to go where?" Matthias " To go to the movies". Pretty much our whole conversation at the restaurant was that :) Along with me saying, " Matthias please sit up we don't slide down the booth" I think I must have said that about oh 100 times :) But honestly I am use to that :)
Like I said he did fabulous last night, compared to the last time I took him out, it was a train wreck! He had huge meltdowns and cried the whole time, and to top it off that time, I had a rude mother tell me how badly I parented my son. NICE huh :) gotta love ignorant people!
I have to say his favorite part was watching the movie :) he thought it was fabulous that we got to sit in our car and eat popcorn and watch some of his favorite characters, Manny and Diego! I really enjoyed getting to spend some time with Matthias and he slept ALL NIGHT! Hmmm Maybe it had something to do with the fact that we had to sit out in the sticky heat last night to watch that great flick! Could be, I was wiped out by the time I put him to bed at 10:30.
Here's to a great Independence Day tomorrow!
Much Love,
The day Keane was born into this world, I will never forget . I had been in labor and bleeding for three days. I remember being so distraught with having to chose my life or my child's life, and I was inconsolable constantly begging my sister Dawn to ask the doctors to do another ultrasound so I could see him. They were certain he would not be born alive, and were concerned it would only make me even more upset.
My loving family and friends were in and out of the hospital everyday, my beautiful friend Becky and my sisters Di and Dawn staying nites with me freezing their toes off as I was extremely hot, my sisters lovingly help change my bedding as I was constantly bleeding and my nurses were not always able to get there asap.
I can't tell you enough, how much it meant to me to have my sisters and friends there with me. They have ALWAYS been my shoulders to cry on, and they have always been there when I needed them the most. I have to say publicly to my wonderful sisters Dawn and Diane and my friend, Becky and Ruth-Ann (if you wouldn't have been so sick I KNOW you would have been there in person) ... THANK YOU for loving me...Through out all of this journey with Keane YOU were there, I love YOU so much for your love and dedication not only to me but to my boys in heaven and earth.
Now remember alot of this process is foggy to me, but this is what I can recall from my memories....In the morning of the third day of my labor I clearly remember telling Glenn to go home and check on things at his home(he didn't want to leave) but I insisted because nothing had happened so far. After about 4 hours of him being gone, I called him and told him he should get back up to the hospital as I felt it was going to happen soon. My sister Diane (god bless her) was there with me as I asked her to stay to be there.
The nurse had just left and I told Di that I could feel the baby was coming and the nurse came right back in, and caught him coming out. Glenn literally walked around the corner not 20 seconds after I delivered our baby. I remember the nurse handing him to me, and thinking he is so small, but so perfect. I cried and Glenn and I talked about how much he looked like Glenn's oldest son. I searched every inch of him so I could remember every part of him. I kissed his sweet little face, hands, feet and told him how much I loved him. I watched in amazement as he breathed and fought to stay alive. Sadly our precious little Keane was just to small for life. Born at 19 1/2 weeks gestation he was just to small.
I remember Diane leaving so we could have our time together, as a family. I remember Glenn and I talking about how we wanted to share him with everyone that was there. My family and friends all came in one by one to see him and hold him to see how beautiful he was. Its amazing to see just how perfect a baby is at 19 weeks, he had all his fingers and toes cute little nose and lips, long legs like his daddy, and sweet little feet. Even though he was so small and we didn't know how long we had and we wanted to make sure our friends/family had a chance to be a part of his life.
We had the chaplain come and baptise him with the family and friends present we all gathered around and prayed over him and dedicated his short life to the Lord. Glenn went with the nurses and Keane to chose a special gown for him and a blanket, the nurses came in and took Polaroids and digital pictures of him and us together. I can't speak highly enough about St.Josephs they took great care of me, my family/friends and our son.
After everyone visited with us, we had two more family and friends come a little later and they got to say hello/goodbye to him. After they left, I realized how much pain I was in, and how tired I was, and with Glenn's caring advice to me, we said our goodbyes (although I don't remember that part very clearly at all) and they took our baby to the NICU to pass away in peace. I struggled with that decision for so long as I felt like I had abandoned him, yet I knew it was what I needed as I was in so much pain. But after I got my hospital records and his, I discovered they took him to the NICU only an hour before he passed away. Keane Michael lived 6 hours here on this earth, and each of them were filled with love for him.
Even now 7 years later, as I type this I still cry as I relive those memories in my head and heart. Keane forever lives on in my spirit and soul. I cherish the time I had with him, to hold him and tell him how much I love him, to kiss his sweet little face and thank God for the perfect little boy He created. I will love you forever my sweet baby boy!
Till we meet in Heaven one day!
Matthias has figured out (at least we are just discovering it, he's probably known for awhile) how to answer the phone and control the VCR (ya we're old school like that, we have both VCR and DVD).
The intriguing thing to me is he had to have learned it just by watching us, seeing as none of us have shown him how too. The VCR I can see how, but the phone is different. Its a portable phone so he had to figure out which button of all the buttons on the phone is the one to answer with.
All this does is continue to show me how much my handsome absorbs of his surroundings even when we are not aware of it. THAT is a huge thing my friends :) See just 2 years ago he could care less about what was going on around him :) And now he is memorizing how to do things.
He certainly does now how to make his Momma proud :)
Much Love,
and UP UP UP UP and down down down down down.... You get the jest of where I am going with that right :)
Seems as if this is one of 'THOSE' weeks again :( My poor Handsome.... I love him so much and its so hard as a Mom to see him struggle.....
He makes so much progress and then out of the blue we are going down again... If you follow me on twitter or facebook, you probably know what I am talking about. But for those who don't, let me explain a little.
Handsome is waking up every night at 2am/3am (depending on the day) and not going back to sleep :(. This makes for a very tired Handsome by the time he needs to be leaving to go to his therapy session or HAB work. Needless to say we have not had therapy this week, and HAB session today was HARD. He also has been stimming uncontrollably all day even when we are being 'productive'. I know alot of this stimming comes from his schedule change because school is out until August, but I'm not sure what else to do...
We seem to go through these routines of sleeping/not sleeping/sleeping/not sleeping and I can't seem to get him out of it. To be honest, I'm not sure what else to do since I have tried everything that has been suggested to me. The one road I haven't tried yet is Melatonin... why? you may ask... Well several times I was talking to some other moms of children with autism and their kiddos had awful side effects from it, like night terrors. So since then I have pushed it to the side till he was older. So I've decided when we go to see his new DAN doctor (which makes me extremely happy) I am going to talk with her about it more.
As far as the excessive stimming goes, I would greatly appreciate some input until we get to our apt in July. Even though I have been at this now for 4 years, I'm still a newbee and cherish the Mommy's I have met out there who have been at this for many more years than I have.
Well here's to a great day tomorrow!
Much Love,
What an exciting/mellow weekend :).... Friday night our news segment aired and it was great to know that more people will find out about Lend4Health and hopefully they will join the group of lenders/or become a Lend4Health recipient.
Yesterday was a struggle for Matthias as he was stimming all day long :(.... But he had lots of fun in the pool after dinner with his brother.
Today he was a good boy, and had lots of fun playing with his brother. He desperately wants to hold his brother all the time, which is so adorable but Littleman doesn't want to be held all the time.
Not to much to say on progress as its pretty much the same :) which is GREAT :) but I can't wait to go to see Dr.Schneider and then to get our loan funded so we can get our lab work done to start the newest part of Our Journey.
Much Love,
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