Today.... I took littleman to his god mommas house so she could visit with him for awhile, and Momma could get some much needed cleaning done. On my way home, I realized something.... As much as Gabriel LOVES his big brother Handsome.... he is starting to mimic everything Handsome does.
Typically this would be a good thing, but in our case its not so great ALL of the time. So... Mommy and Auntie Dawn have decided that Littleman will be coming to play with his cousin at least once a week if not more, and after I made that decision...I actually started to cry.... I know... I know.... but crying is part of how I work through things.
Its so hard to realize that as much as Littleman loves his big brother.... its not good for him to be mimicking some of the things his big brother does. He DOES pick up on Handsomes talking which is GREAT, but he is also picking up on the screaming,throwing ect.
I felt myself begin to be sad to think that I will have to separate(I don't mean all the time, I'm purely speaking about playtime during the week/weekends) little brother from big brother in order for Littleman to continue to progress 'typically' :-(. and although I know in my head its not a huge deal and neither of them are realizing this, its a HUGE deal to Mommy and today I am struggling with it.
I'm having one of those moments, hours, nights where I am grieving for the typical life for my Handsome... I hate how that roller coaster of emotions just sneaks up on me sometimes :(..... I know one day my Handsome will be better, and I am praying he will be completely recovered, but for now I am just being a woman, Mother who is longing for her oldest to be able to connect, play, interact with his little brother just like any other big brother would do......
I would be interested to know if any of my other autism Mommy's out there have gone through this same experience. Let me know if you have and what you have done.
Much Love,
Posts
3 comments:
Oh wow, Lisa. That is such a difficult situation. I never thought of how autism in a child can affect their siblings. You definitely have some hard decisions here. Even though I've never experienced what you are going through please know that I will be praying for you and your boys--that God will give you wisdom, healing to Handsome, and guard your Littleman!
Praying for you. This can not be easy. I have to watch how much I complain about my own pain, because Abby has picked up on it. She knows I can't clean or do other things because of my pain. At times when she is asked to pick up after herselft or to clean her room, she will repeat my words "my muscles hurt" or "my legs hurt". I never thought she would use my words as excuses. I had to remind her that she is able bodied and I am not.
Thankfully littleman has a cousin that is not too much older than him to have that example.
God bless you and those adorable boys of yours!
Much Love,
Cynthia
Hey honey, don't worry about it. Ok, easier said than done, I know! It is so hard to see this, but at the same time, just imagine what your boys will be like TOGETHER when Handsome is older and at a different place! I took my kids to the zoo today, and it was constant helping my son with autism see what my other 3 easily see. And then twin sister didn't get the time with me I wish she did. Anyway, I always figure in the end, it will be better for ALL the children if I focus on the one who can be turned around NOW. So hard! Praying for you!!!!
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